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.Please..”I tried to calm her as I kept the gift in her hands and said, “just for my sake, once see it. Only if you like it, take it otherwise we will leave it”She reluctantly opened the gift but as soon as she opened, she couldn’t take her eyes off it..As she looked at me with tears in her eyes, “anna..Please forgive me..”I wiped her tears and told her, “don’t be silly neela, why should I forgive you? You have not done anything wrong”“no anna, I was so selfish that I totally forgot that you and mom-dad were trying to help me out and I always kept you distanced” she started crying keeping her head on my shoulder as I soothed her back trying to calm her down…“its okay sis, you are my sweet little sis…I understand it’s been difficult for you…but trust me everything would be fine..It’s just a passing cloud..I am glad you understood mom and dad’s concerns”As I calmed her down, she slowly stopped weeping and looked up at me, “I never thought you’d remember my fav color”I just smiled. It was going so good! Now I've ruined it!Fuck. Where did that come from anyway? I mean, on one level it's true, I've always liked older guys. Not much older. Just you know, more experienced. They knew what they were doing, and my first older guy was mind-blowing compared to the inexperienced backseat fumbling I was used to. Thinking back, even in junior high I preferred the senior high guys.The words, 'grown up men' swirled around in my mind, and I suddenly remembered something that took my breath away. There was someone. It would have been almost twenty years ago when I was twelve or thirteen. My knowledge of just about anything would have been rudimentary at best. But I do remember masturbating and fantasising about one older guy. He was the college son of our next-door neighbours and I only remember seeing him around just that one summer.I remember thinking I was in love with him but he never even noticed me. Still, that didn't stop me imagining all kinds of scenarios in my.
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